Friday, February 16, 2018

"Where's My Review?!?"

Hiya guys and dolls. Hope your year is starting out well. Did you have a good Valentine's Day?

I wanted to give you guys a little update, paired with a mini-reality check for a select group of individuals.

I've been down with the hellish flu that's been going around, at least around the U.S. I'm going on week 8, and I'm exhausted. When I'm not sick enough to be stuck in bed, someone in my house is, and I'm taking care of them.

Don't get me wrong, we all have our stuff to deal with, and this isn't a pity party. What it is, hopefully, is an explanation. Esp for authors, who are the main audience this particular post is addressed to.

*Cue Mini-Reality Check*

Anyone who's requested a review from me, is expected to have read my review policy. In it, I state I do not welcome emails and pms asking where your review is. It's rude.

If you haven't sent a "where's my review?" email, then this isn't written for you.

If you have, then let me issue you a friendly reminder: I am providing you a free service. You have not paid me. A copy of your book isn't payment, because with all due respect, I probably wouldn't have bought it in the first place, so you're not missing out on the couple of bucks you could have gotten from me. I already have over 200 books to read right now, and I'm not shopping for any others. Most of you are indie authors, who's books I never would have found, had you not emailed me.

You came to me, and asked me for a favor you probably don't plan to ever return or pay back. I'm fine with that. I enjoy reading, so in the end, we both win (if your book is good. If it sucks, then we both get screwed, but I digress).

I try to give general time frames for when a book will, lacking a hindrance, be done. Not one of the rather rude emails I've gotten the last several weeks, demanding to know where the review was, took me into consideration, at all.

I get your book is you. To me, your book is one in hundreds on my list to read, or has already been read, and I'm too damn sick to write a review that sounds better than a second grade book report. Hopefully you can understand that.

I'm an author as well - I understand the importance of reviews. They are gold nuggets we work our asses off to get, and hope to God each one is good, and if nothing else, isn't a total burner. It's difficult.

But for the reviewer, it's completely different. We're just trying to get through a giant stack of books, without forgetting one, or God-forbid, putting a review on Goodreads and not Amazon. It's difficult as well.

Working both sides gives me very little patience for rude, selfish behavior. Whether you're excited, micromanaging, or simply obsessed with your number of reviews, I don't care. I am doing you a favor, spending my free time reading your book at all. I do not have to do it when you want it done. Even if we agree on a date, most of the time, I still say I will try to accommodate, but make no promises. If you don't like that, then don't send me your bloody book - I didn't ask you for it! But don't come to me with attitude demanding your review - I don't work like that.

I love what I do, honestly. And most authors are amazing to work with. But some of you need a reality check. I have gotten several emails the last few weeks, and they're adding stress to my already exhausted body and mind, and that's just not okay. I don't have the energy to email you each individually asking you to be patient, because I'm sick. I'm doing the best I can, but honestly, it not doing too well right now.

If you're waiting for a review from me, I deeply apologize for any inconvenience my lack of health has caused. For those of you that have been kind, thank you. For those who have been rude - a couple in particular, you should wash your mouths out with soap - may not be getting a review from me at all, after your emails, and you know who you are.

I will continue to volunteer to read and review your books or products. I am, however, rather slow at the moment, which for me, is still averaging 8 books a week, and still have 200 or so to go. I will get them up on the internet once I can manage to get out of bed and focus for more than 10 minutes, but right now, I will puke on you if you push me. Get off my back. Hopefully I can kick it back up soon, but my health is more important, and to be honest, the negativity of several of you the last few weeks has pissed me off.

All that being said, I hope wherever you are, you're healthy, happy, and having a wonderful day.

Ciao for now,