Wednesday, March 21, 2018

What Now?

Hey guys and dolls. This post is going to be messy, but honestly, it's where I'm at right now, and you guys deserve some sort of explanation before I just disappear. That is, if you even give a shit. Right now, I doubt many do.


Honestly, I haven't been settled at all the past week, on what I'm going to do. As a reviewer with any sort of worth and good standing reputation, it's almost mandatory to post reviews on Amazon. I can't do that now.


Yes, I could make a new account specifically for leaving reviews, but honestly, without re-writing all my reviews so they don't end up being noticed and flagged again, I'll be setting myself up for the exact same headache after spending countless hours putting them all back up. To me, that seems massively impractical.


I honestly don't know if there is any point in authors going through me for reviews. Most authors make it clear they're only interested in an Amazon review, and anywhere else is just gravy. Maybe it'll just clear those authors out? I don't know.


As a reviewer and book lover, I'm seriously lost. This has been such a big part of my life for over 5 years. Do I quit? Is my business dead in the water from one egotistical company?


I still don't know, tbh. My normal mode of operating is to simply keep moving forward, and don't give up. It's more of a headache, and would mean more awkward conversations with future authors, as I explain why they won't see my review on Amazon, but is it worth it?


Maybe I should just give up the reviewing gig and focus all my energy on my own books? I'm a flailing author with my own well-received but lost-in-the-crowd books. Maybe this is a sign I need to move on from reviewing, and focus on writing and building my own books up?


I honestly don't know. For the moment, I'm simply floating, as I figure out where I want to go from here. Amazon rules our world, and since I've been cut from the club, maybe it's time I simply bow out. Another one bites the dust, so they say.


We'll see. I'll keep you updated. At the moment though, I just feel gutted. 5 years of work and 800+ reviews gone, and those are just the books. I reviewed so many things on Amazon y'all, you have no idea. I don't just review books. I review products as well. It's all just gone. In a way, I'm just heartbroken.


I used to love Amazon. I backed them up to people who bashed them. I stood up for them. I was supportive, and have stood by them since they were a tiny little company. I've worked with them for over 10 years, long before they were the massive company they are now. I've watched them grow, and have been proud of them.


Until now. It's akin to betrayal, I suppose. All that pride and all those arguments where I supported them and wouldn't change my mind. In the end, they stabbed me in the back while I defended them, and they've changed my mind instead.


The worst part is, they don't even care. They don't give a shit about me, the stress they've caused, or anything about me or my little blog. They wouldn't even care if I pulled my books from their platform, because I'm not making them a bunch of money. If J.K. Rowling told them reviewers are important and to stop attacking them, maybe then they'd listen.


As it is, I'm a little swatted fly, and I'm not sure if I'll come back or not. With the bullying that happened last week causing an author to attempt suicide from other authors being complete assholes, mixed in with my personal turmoil, I'm just so fed up with the book community. It's why I took a break a few years ago, and I just don't know if it's worth it tbh.


If you've read this far, kudos to you. I don't know why you care so much, but I appreciate it. Not feeling too much love lately, and I think it's finally taken its toll.


If I don't post for a while, I wish you guys the best of luck. To any author who didn't get a review from me, I do apologize, and I will try my best to get your book reviewed, and finish out my standing queue when I am able. At the moment, my heart just isn't in it, and trust me, any review right now wouldn't be worth the effort.


Not really sure any of it was, honestly. 5 years, down the drain. Screw Amazon.