Friday, February 16, 2018

"Where's My Review?!?"

Hiya guys and dolls. Hope your year is starting out well. Did you have a good Valentine's Day?

I wanted to give you guys a little update, paired with a mini-reality check for a select group of individuals.

I've been down with the hellish flu that's been going around, at least around the U.S. I'm going on week 8, and I'm exhausted. When I'm not sick enough to be stuck in bed, someone in my house is, and I'm taking care of them.

Don't get me wrong, we all have our stuff to deal with, and this isn't a pity party. What it is, hopefully, is an explanation. Esp for authors, who are the main audience this particular post is addressed to.

*Cue Mini-Reality Check*

Anyone who's requested a review from me, is expected to have read my review policy. In it, I state I do not welcome emails and pms asking where your review is. It's rude.

If you haven't sent a "where's my review?" email, then this isn't written for you.

If you have, then let me issue you a friendly reminder: I am providing you a free service. You have not paid me. A copy of your book isn't payment, because with all due respect, I probably wouldn't have bought it in the first place, so you're not missing out on the couple of bucks you could have gotten from me. I already have over 200 books to read right now, and I'm not shopping for any others. Most of you are indie authors, who's books I never would have found, had you not emailed me.

You came to me, and asked me for a favor you probably don't plan to ever return or pay back. I'm fine with that. I enjoy reading, so in the end, we both win (if your book is good. If it sucks, then we both get screwed, but I digress).

I try to give general time frames for when a book will, lacking a hindrance, be done. Not one of the rather rude emails I've gotten the last several weeks, demanding to know where the review was, took me into consideration, at all.

I get your book is you. To me, your book is one in hundreds on my list to read, or has already been read, and I'm too damn sick to write a review that sounds better than a second grade book report. Hopefully you can understand that.

I'm an author as well - I understand the importance of reviews. They are gold nuggets we work our asses off to get, and hope to God each one is good, and if nothing else, isn't a total burner. It's difficult.

But for the reviewer, it's completely different. We're just trying to get through a giant stack of books, without forgetting one, or God-forbid, putting a review on Goodreads and not Amazon. It's difficult as well.

Working both sides gives me very little patience for rude, selfish behavior. Whether you're excited, micromanaging, or simply obsessed with your number of reviews, I don't care. I am doing you a favor, spending my free time reading your book at all. I do not have to do it when you want it done. Even if we agree on a date, most of the time, I still say I will try to accommodate, but make no promises. If you don't like that, then don't send me your bloody book - I didn't ask you for it! But don't come to me with attitude demanding your review - I don't work like that.

I love what I do, honestly. And most authors are amazing to work with. But some of you need a reality check. I have gotten several emails the last few weeks, and they're adding stress to my already exhausted body and mind, and that's just not okay. I don't have the energy to email you each individually asking you to be patient, because I'm sick. I'm doing the best I can, but honestly, it not doing too well right now.

If you're waiting for a review from me, I deeply apologize for any inconvenience my lack of health has caused. For those of you that have been kind, thank you. For those who have been rude - a couple in particular, you should wash your mouths out with soap - may not be getting a review from me at all, after your emails, and you know who you are.

I will continue to volunteer to read and review your books or products. I am, however, rather slow at the moment, which for me, is still averaging 8 books a week, and still have 200 or so to go. I will get them up on the internet once I can manage to get out of bed and focus for more than 10 minutes, but right now, I will puke on you if you push me. Get off my back. Hopefully I can kick it back up soon, but my health is more important, and to be honest, the negativity of several of you the last few weeks has pissed me off.

All that being said, I hope wherever you are, you're healthy, happy, and having a wonderful day.

Ciao for now,

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

"Lesson Plan for Murder" by Lori Robbins!

Hiya guys and dolls! Check out this murder mystery!

Lesson Plan for Murder

 Lesson Plan for Murder
~Author: Lori Robbins

~Released: November 2017

~Publisher: Barking Rain Press

~Length: 228 Pages

~Genres: Adult Fiction, Cozy Mystery, Women's Fiction, Chick-Lit

No one sheds any tears when overbearing English teacher Marcia Deaver is found dead in her classroom. Some staff members speculate it was a heart attack, or perhaps a suicide, but Liz Hopewell knows that no self-respecting member of the Valerian Hills English Department would kill herself without leaving behind a perfectly penned suicide note, complete with detailed footnotes and obscure literary references.

After the police begin investigating the death as a murder, Liz finds Marcia’s mysteriously coded lesson plans. Convinced they hold the key to identifying the murderer, normally risk-averse Liz finds herself obsessed with solving the crime.

Despite repeated requests to stay out of it from both her husband and the very fine-looking detective assigned to the case, Liz persists in pursuing the murderer down a sordid trail of infidelity, blackmail, and Shakespeare conspiracy theories.

When additional staff members are poisoned, Liz realizes that her clandestine pursuit has spooked the murderer—and she is likely next on the list. Can Liz expose the murderer before she becomes the next victim?

"Only If" by Ariana R. Cherry!

Hiya guys and dolls! Check out this psychologically thrilling novella!

Only If

 Only If
~Author: Ariana R. Cherry

~Released: September 9th 2016

~Length: 52 Pages

~Genres: Novella, Psychological Thriller, Drama

"Only If" tells the horrific tale of Billy, who has gone crazy from sitting in a jail cell for years and blamed for the murder of his wife... Throughout the years, he relives that specific night, when he lost his beloved wife, Clara. Stuck in a jail cell, locked away from everyone who had loved him and a memory that continues to haunt him each waking day. To most, he looks and sounds to be a crazy lunatic murderer, but deep down, Billy is just a scarred man with graphic disturbing memories that carry him to the edge of his sanity. Written in a poetic epic style, "Only If" will surely entice the reader to join Billy down memory lane and experience the tragedy that brought him to this very moment in life.

Monday, February 12, 2018

"Dreadmarrow Thief" by Marjory Kaptanoglu!

Hiya guys and dolls! Check out this epic adventure, perfect for any fan of sci-fi fantasies!

Dreadmarrow Thief

The Conjurer Fellstone, #1

 Dreadmarrow Thief
~Author: Marjory Kaptanoglu

~Released: October 9th 2017

~Length: 225 Pages

~Genres: Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Young Adult


In this thrilling fantasy adventure, sixteen-year-old Tessa Skye shapeshifts into a sparrow using a windrider—a forbidden magical amulet. When she accidentally reveals herself to the wicked Conjurer Lord Fellstone, the tyrant has her papa killed. Overcome by guilt and remorse, Tessa sets out for the castle to steal Fellstone’s Dreadmarrow, his most prized magical artifact, which has the power to restore life. She’s joined by Calder, searching for his lost love, and Ash, whose growing attraction to Tessa distracts from his plan to avenge his murdered twin.

Dreadmarrow Thief is an enchanting coming-of-age story about a girl who seeks to wield great power, only to learn it comes at a terrible price.

“The quest narrative is exciting and compelling... a work of classic fantasy.” -The BookLife Prize

“A novel that celebrates life and love the way only the best fantasy tales can.” -Kirkus Reviews

Monday, February 5, 2018

"An Unlikely Company" by Tyler R. Lee!

Hiya guys and dolls! Check out this epic fantasy, fit for any fan of Tolkien!

An Unlikely Company

The Nether Gate Trilogy, Book 1

 Unlikely Company
~Author: Tyler R. Lee

~Released: September 30th, 2017

~Length: 248 Pages

~Genres: Fantasy, Action

For nearly a century, the country of Oriod has been at peace. However, dark tidings now threaten to tear it all apart as an evil organization known as the Order of the Fallen Light seeks to free their imprisoned master from her cage in the Nether. Woden, a prideful half-orc, Baelor, a surly dwarf, Jokkoa, a whimsical goblin sorceress, and Amrynn, a paranoid elf and her tiger companion are thrown together by chance. With more than a bit of reluctance, the four loners stumble upon this evil plot and discover they may be the land’s only hope, much to their annoyance.

At the request of the wizened wizard Grindor, the unlikely company set out to find the four artifacts that defeated the order in the past before the enemy finds them first. However, not only do they have to contend with the dark forces hot on their trail, but also with the complications brought on by their own mistrust in each other. The dark mages, goblin raiders, zealot cultists, and territorial elementals may be the death of them all, if they don't kill each other first.